


Deceit's Problem

by Ive_never_read_fluff



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is Extra, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Good Friend, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Needs a Hug, Deceit Sanders Angst, Deceit Sanders Needs a Hug, Deceit Sanders is Named Deceit, Deceit Sanders-centric, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Gen, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders Tries, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Prince Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sad Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23534371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ive_never_read_fluff/pseuds/Ive_never_read_fluff
Summary: Ever since Virgil left the Dark Sides, Deceit hasn't been the same.He would still keep his facade, until one day.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 9
Kudos: 254





	Deceit's Problem

* * *

Deceit was in his room, crying. He felt like his room was the only place he could be himself. It was also the only place where Virgil's old belongings were. 

He remembers that night, right after Virgil got his new jacket. _That was the only thing he took that could remind him of us. Of me._ Deceit remembers the day Virgil came up to him and asked him to fix his jacket after Remus tore it.

He added some patches to it, there wasn't enough solid black material. Virgil had said he liked it. That he would never not wear it. _Guess that was a lie._ Deceit remembered thinking, as he snuck into Virgil's new room to find the jacket. 

Deceit figured that his old friend wouldn't miss it. Now Virgil has a new one, a better one.

Snapping him back into reality, Deceit felt his skin burning more than usual. He had been cutting himself this whole time.. oh well. 

He couldn't be bothered to clean up, even if Remus did come into his room sometimes, he'd be cool the the sight of blood. That's also why Deceit didn't make his clothes waterproof, Remus wouldn't mind, and no one else could give a single flying fuck about him.

As he shoved his yellow gloves on, he felt himself being summoned. _Weird. Maybe it wasn't meant for me? Thomas does get his sides messed up sometimes.._

It wasn't until the second tug that he realized yes, Thomas was calling him.

He still had tears running down his cheeks and he didn't have his cape on. It was a rule that if a side wasn't there before the 4th tug, they were forced to go, they didn't have a choice. 

Deceit quickly wiped his tears away. He tried to get up to grab his cape, but he tripped. _Too much blood lose maybe.. that's going to be a joy when talking to the others._

He sarcastically thought as he regained his ability to stand. The third tug came just when he grabbed his cape.

Flinging it around him, he stumbled to look in his mirror, checking how red his eyes were, and if he could blame it on weed. He couldn't, his eyes were too puffy and not enough red.

He was annoyed, and he wasn't going to act like he wasn't. Not this time, he wasn't going to act sly, or cunning. Fourth.

He popped up in Thomas's living room, losing his balance and falling.

_This is exactly what I wanted to do right now, such a great entrance. So graceful, everyone is sure to be nicer now._ Again, sarcastically. He happened to find comfort in sarcasm.

"What do you want?" Deceit asked, annoyance dripping from his voice. At first he didn't bother to get up but then he realized these were Light Sides, they wouldn't be cool with blood. Plus he really shouldn't make a mess on Thomas's floor. 

Deceit didn't want to look at them because he didn't want to deal with lying about his crying, and he didn't want to hear about his disgusting snake face.

"Are you okay?" Patton asked, concern somewhere in his voice. 

"Yes, yes I am. Perfectly fine." Deceit said, face still focused on the ground. _Oh wait. I have my gloves on.. I wouldn't bleed everywhere._ Deceit thought. He was really, really dizzy. 

Logan cleared his throat, "Thomas thought that you could be beneficial to the current conversation." 

He could practically _feel_ the eyes staring at him. "Do you mind if I sit down here?" Deceit asked, hoping that they'd say yes. _Standing was becoming a task._

I looked up at them, just long enough so I could see their answer.

"Of course, make yourself comfortable." Patton said, looking at me. Deceit was a little uneasy because neither Virgil or Roman said something bad about him yet. Or at all. 

He looked at Roman and Virgil, they were there. Roman looked confused, Virgil was just staring at me. 

Virgil's last words to him played in his head. 

_"Why should I stay, huh? It's not like you care about me!" Virgil shouted, hate burning in his eyes. Deceit was fighting back tears. "... I'm sorry, I didn't realize.. they make you happy, I don't. I'm evil, the bad guy. You deserve so much better, go to them, and forget about us." Deceit's voice cracked about halfway through, he was in tears. "Yeah, I will. They are and always will be so much better than you. You're nothing to me." Virgil scoffed, walking out into his new life._

Deceit turned his head as he wiped his face, again and again. "Ok, what's the c-conversation about?" He stutterd as he sat down. 

"What's up with you today, Snake Face?" Roman asked. "I don't think it's any of your business, Prince. You just caught me at a bad time, that's all." Deceit said, returning to his normal behavior. 

"Roman's right. You seem light-headed." Logan said, coming over to my spot on the floor. 

I was a bit worried but hell, what do I really have to lose if they found out? "No need to check up on me, just-" I was interrupted by Virgil. 

"No, no you're not! You are not fine, idiot! Your eyes are literally red and swollen, and we can't summon drugs! Even now, you're not looking up because you're CRYING! AND DON'T EVEN PRETEND YOU'RE NOT WEARING MY OLD SWEATER! **JUST TELL US WHY!** " His voice got louder and distorted with each word.

Deceit was taken aback, he didn't know he didn't take the hoodie off. Shit.

Patton and Roman tried to calm Virgil down, Logan sat down in front of me. "You don't need to tell us anything, but at least let me check on you." Logan said, his voice surprisingly soft.

"Why do you care, Thomas doesn't need lies to survive, he'll be fine without me." Deceit said, voice trembling. Logan was barely able to hide the worry in his eyes, "Because you're a side. Now take off your cape and jacket."

Deceit was timid, the only one who's seen him like this before was Virgil. Now everyone else had to. 

He took off his cape, but he knew if the jacket was off, they'd see his cuts. "Can you take off the jacket for me?" Logan asked, as realizition kicked in. "Take it off so I can clean them.. please Deceit?" 

He nodded, taking off his jacket. Tears flowed down his face as he saw Logan tear up. "I-i'm sorry..." Deceit mumbled. 

"No, no, don't apologize, you were hurting and didn't know how to deal with it.." Logan said, getting up to go get a first aid kit. The others came up to me.

Patton was the first to see my arms, "Deceit.. why?" He started crying. Roman was next, "Snake Face..?" He looked very guilty, but he comforted Patton. Virgil... was last.. "Dee.. how long were you doing this? Was it before I left? Why did you do it? Was it because of me?" Virgil kept talking, but that's all Deceit could understand. 

"Please.. calm down. You're supposed to be happy, dammit! They're nice, they make you happy! And I'm nothing, I'm just the bad guy, I'm _NOTHING_ to you!" Deceit yelled, crying almost as much as he did the day Virgil left.

Logan got back with the kit and started to get the stuff that he'd need out. "These will hurt, ok? Tell me if you need a break." 

Deceit nodded, if he could cut himself, he could handle it. About halfway through the cleaning, Logan cleared his throat and asked, "Are these the only ones or are there more?" 

Deceit whimpered, "there's some o-on my thighs.. and chest.. 'm sorry." 

"Okay, do you want me to clean those too or so you want someone else to?" Logan asked. Deceit curled in on himself slightly, but nodded. "Y-you.." 

Deceit felt like Logan wouldn't judge him to much, he felt he could trust Logan. He was still worried he'll laugh at him.

* * *

Logan had finished cleaning Deceit's cuts and now it was time for dinner. 

"What's your favorite food, kiddo?" Patton asked, but got no response. Deceit didn't realize he was taking to him. "Deceit, Patton asked you something." Logan said.

"O-oh, sorry Patton.. what'd you ask?" He asked. "I asked what your favorite food is." Patton said. "Uhh.. um, I don't really have a favorite..." _Anymore. He used to, he'd made it on the day before Virgil left._ "Virge, if you don't mind me asking, what was his favorite food?" Patton asked, turning to face Virgil. 

Virgil remembered the last time Dee made it, and almost cried at the thought.

"He liked grilled cheese with tomato sauce. He used to make it for lunch all the time.." Virge wiped the tears from his eyes. 

Dee hugged himself, he honestly couldn't remember the last time he ate, let alone eating what he liked. It was sad, but he really didn't have much of an appetite and when he did, eating would just remind him how lonely he was.

As if reading his mind, Logan said, "Deceit, when was the last time you had a full meal?" 

_A full meal..? It's been so long._ Deceit thought, and he said, "Um, I d-don't know.." Deceit subconsciously put his fingers around his wrist, his fingers touched.

"You need to take better care of yourself, Dr. Trickle." Roman said, pausing the show he was watching. "You act like your br-" Deceit suddenly stopped. _Remus! He didn't tell him where he was going, and he doesn't know if there are leftovers, then again, Remus is probably eating his deodorant.._

"Remus is fine, Roman checked on him when I was cleaning you up." Logan said. "Thanks, Prince." Deceit said, giving a soft half-smile, like Virgil does.

* * *

"Dinner's ready!" Patton said, setting an extra spot at the table. Everyone sat down in their seats, well, everyone except Deceit. He didn't know where to sit so he let everyone pick them he sat in the last one open.

It was next to Virgil. Deceit felt.. strange. It was an almost happy but also sad nostalgia? "Hey, um, Dee?" Virgil asked, getting his attention. 

"Hm?" Deceit responded, as if to say, 'what'. 

Virgil looked nervous, "I'm sorry I left like that. You were crying- and- and i... I didn't care.. you aren't nothing, I never should've said that you were." 

"I-it's ok.." Deceit said, and looked at Virgil.

They sat and ate in silence, until Patton spoke. "Deceit, kiddo, what would you want us to call you? Y'know.. like a nickname." 

"...Dee." He said, barely above a whisper. "Ok kiddo." Patton said. He was sitting on the other side of Deceit. "Do you know where you want to sleep? You're going to stay here, or someone is going to your room with you." Logan said.

Deceit looked unsure. _He didn't want to be a burden to anyone.._

Deceit must've said that out loud, because all the sides quickly said, "You're not a burden to us." 

"Who do you want to sleep with, Dee?" 

A look of realization dawned on Virgil.

"No- not like that!" Virge blushed.

Deceit almost giggled, then he remembered what Virgil said. _"Ugh, sometimes I can't stand your voice, especially your laugh. It's kinda gross."_

Of course, that was more than a year ago, but it still hurt when Deceit thought about it.

"I-I'll sleep with..uh, I, Logan...?" Deceit was embarrassed, it really sounds like he was asking to have sex with him.

* * *

They had all gone to their rooms, everyone except Deceit was asleep. He was thinking. Mostly about what happened, and why it happened.

He usually wouldn't say it when he felt it, but he really wanted a hug. He wanted someone to cuddle with him. But no one would willingly touch him, or be in his presence. Especially with his cuts, his scales, and honestly just everything about him.

He couldn't say he blamed them though, he didn't even want to be around himself. 

Even so, that didn't stop him from wishing someone loved him, or from thinking he was worth something. He knew he wasn't. But a man can dream, right?

Yes, he can. But can an ugly snake even hope to be half worth something? No, not really. If so, that's an incredibly idiotic snake. 

He heard shuffling behind him so he turned to look. It was Logan.


End file.
